going with the flow

of a cosmic reality as the gamma rays hit in that palce where it feels like only you could possibly the one with the right(eousness) answer for this moment to be in the perfect moment is the safety net of the blahnde in the room.  the one that just sees that nano that needs a friend.  to identify with a reality is the process of this moment.

to be honest, i have no idea Who "Son of a Preacher Man" belongs to, but whomever it is has until the nhsSolstice2ol3 (location) or this song means to me in this moment.  tantra can be so confusing, but it is the most intriguing of all the disciplines to me.  KeepItSimpleSmartie(=!#findNikiV113)

Any Need 2 Keep This?

So, I am going through "The Box" -- for me, that means the box with all The Trial stuff.  Yucky, mostly, but some of it is enlightening, inspiring, and some of its is straight-up comical.  blAHndes DO have more fun!

Form:  "State of Nevada, Department of Public Safety, Division of Parole and Probation, "PRESENTENCE INVESTIGATION REPORT QUESTIONNAIRE"

Question:  "Briefly describe your childhood and your relationship with your family:"
[2 and 1/3 blank lines to respond].

Answer:  "My childhood was fine, and as I am still my parents' child, my childhood continues to grow and mature."

Question:  "Describe the worst thing that happened to you as a child:"
[2 and 1/2 blank lines for that response].

Answer:  "After graduation from high school, I moved out when my parents decided, for me, where I was to go to college rather than support me and my decision for my higher education."

BTW, my parent's choice:  Oral Roberts  University.  Seriously.  My parents are very strong supporters, just sometimes their priorities in what they support get distracted.  Sigh, yes, they were 700 Club members too (and maybe still are). 

The truth is, given their experience in their childhood, that my parents still breathe on planet earth is inspiring.  And, they are really good people with good intention even if they are too trusting in those who may not be so deserving of it.

Perhaps now, more people can see -- regardless of his intention in the moment to send me to jail for 120 days flat -- what a gift Judge Herndon gave me.  Now, as for his competency level, that is something which needs to be addressed.  Perhaps.  I do like the idea that sometimes the world just takes care of itself like that and I really don't have to "worry about a thing."  Working on the destructive side of change is not always fun, and courtrooms can be fun, but I think I'd rather just paint and play and write and do poetry and drum and use the tuning forks and vibrate and dance and photograph and .... just otherwise do what I do to "unfuck the world"!   =)

So, do I keep the Questionnaire or shred it?  The complex questions in my life.  The form has written on the bottom:  "Original - File                       Copy - Offender" ... since I was the offender, this is a copy and The Original is in The File.  Nice, I get to shred!

the summer tour basic sketch

http://cindysheehanssoapbox.blogspot.com/2013/04/and-then-there-were-threeby-cindy.html

she's biking across america.  actually, its like a road trip and the important parts are on bike.  "fast, free delivery!"  Cindy is once again imposing her life on us.  Fuck her.

For showing us EXACTLY how its done!  Leaving us no excuse to NOT go on the ROAD this Summer.

PERFECT WORLD VISION:

22 Apr. Bobby Furst Joshua Tree California USA gaia 3d here next monday, hapi earthday party fundraiser 4 krystal 2 go to taos, nm and learn about food not bombs ... whatever she wants to learn.  she's one year into a five year plan for Food Not Bombs Palm Springs.  she can do it, she just needs help to get to New Mexico.

May San Diego ... La Jolla Beach, Re.Public (Jonny Mars), Cultural Center Art Exhibition
1-2 June DUK ... Dead Cow Corral, Nevada #*
Cousin Joanna's ... Sierra Nevadas
San Francisco
Grand Canyon
Sedona (Bell for Name Calling 22 June) #**
Gallup
Taos
Portales
Austin
Luckenbacher -- BRIDGET!!!!
Bellville
Houston
Nawlins
Nashville
Asheville
Cape Fear NC ... fuck yeah!  Dave, finally!  =)
July 3 Cindy Sheehan
July 4 Philadelphia Sherri North
July 25 - day out of time The Kiln in NYC? #***
Detroit
rainbow gathering

# days whatever i say is all about you.  and if u r with me, u will know exactly who i am speaking to . . . =)

"ignor.ance is bliss"

empowering other people is a dangerous thing.

do not begin to empower the sex worker who's pimp is jonesing for her.  teaching someone that they are worth something is a threat to other people who prey on another's belief they are worth nothing.  apparently, my blissful ignorance of how i was not supposed to see the potential in another person and share that with them, was wrong.  so wrong, my cel mate told me i needed to leave general population and go into protective custody.

i had begun to mess with the property of the wrong pimp.

sorry, didn't know.  i was just reminding someone that they were a beautiful human being, who had talent, who had a voice to use, who had a dream to pursue, and that she had a choice when she was released from jail to go back to the life someone else decided for her, or try to create the life she would decide for herself.

i still wonder what happened to that young lady who taught me how to use jailhouse colored pencils as makeup.  a talented girl with the notion that lucifer was a woman.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet."  Franz Kafka

That is truth.  Sometimes you need to have an imposed experience to learn the truth.  If this is not the truth, this blog will cease to exist.  Because it is our "blAHnde Moments!" when we realize the truth, life is right in front of us if we look at what we see around us.

How often do you just stop and take a look around and see your reality as it is rather than what you are looking for?  Listening now to the birds chirping and music playing I remember how grateful I am today.  I remember clearly many nites watching the lights fountain up The Plaza's marquee, two lights missing, finding a rhythm in its pattern, hoping that the desire for calm would find syncopation in the noises of the reality I sat.

"BANG. BANG. BANG."  Qwest* has awoken from his slumber as our cel reverberates in the loud banging sound that I imagine is a lead pipe striking a metal door, but knowing that in "the hole" he has nothing even remotely close to a lead pipe and it extends beyond my imagination how he can make such a loud noise.  Maybe he'll just go back to sleep.

"PUNK BITCH FUCKING WHITE HO!"  Nope -- no such luck he's up for another round of shouting at the top of his lungs.

Are the birds any less disturbing?  Are the kids in the living room?  What about the neighbor's barking dog?  There is always a dissonance in your reality to challenge your sense of balance and reality, embrace it and find where a new reality of balance and calm can find itself.

*Qwest, really, his street name.  How I learned his name is a whole different story.

DUK: Oreos are Vegan

Seriously, Did U Know, Oreos have no milk or eggs.  In fact, they were not even made or manufactured in a facility that processes milk or eggs.  How do I know?  Because after the "crackdown," we found out Oreos are Vegan when the kitchen gave us new dietary restrictions to help eliminate the fakers from our midst.

Why someone would choose to have vegetarian meal and then eat a Slim Jim ? ? ? jail.  sometimes, people in jail are challenged with continuity issues.

This was so short, I thought I would include a jailhouse recipe for a "burrito":  1 Top Ramen, 1 bag of chips (preferably Hot Cheetos or Nacho Cheese Doritos), 1 Slim Jim (optional).

Take your bag of chips, be sure to open it carefully because that bag will be what you use to mix and 'cook' your burrito, eat about 1/3 to 1/2 the bag.  After smashing the Tom Ramen in its package, empty the Ramen noodles in to the chips bag, smash, crunch and mix well.  Add Top Ramen flavor pack and optional Slim Jim. Mix well and add water, not too much, just enough to bring the "meal" together.  Once thoroughly mixed, fold in chips bag and "bake."

"Baking" in jail requires the only rule one must know and understand:  "Know your correctional officers."  To bake a "burrito" requires to put the bag on top of the light.  Just, do not get caught doing that by the wrong Correctional Officer!

Holding Cells Bare Responsibilities

Holding cells are fascinating places.   Everyone has a story in a holding cell.  If you think your story is unusual or that you are extraordinary in any way, you will find out how ordinary you really are in a holding cell.  The "Holding Cell" represents THE place where we capture every single "Mistake"  in our society and sort it out.  Including those made by a certain blonde.

I suppose it begins with "grounding" in high school or maybe even "go sit in the corner" or "timeout" when we are children, but The Question we must ask, to get to The Truth, is after we are adults does anyone have the right to take away another adult's freedom?  That is what I had to sit and contemplate for 11 days in the North Las Vegas Detention Center.

More was taken away from me in those 11 days than during the 120 Flat Time I did in Vegas.  Sometimes, for thoughts to expand in their potential, that which used to be true needs to be taken completely away.  I don't know if I ever consciously did that before they put me in jail, but I do know that I started to consciously do it in jail because that was all I could do to survive, let alone thrive, in that environment.

On very practical levels, human beings tend to adjust to more efficient models and ways of thinking -- "technology" is a good practical example.  It is on the very intimate levels, where the challenge of this expanding concept displaces realities you do not know even exist.   We experience the intimate levels in our everyday personal lives more readily than say the intimate impact of a new app on the iNet, but the same principles will apply.  And, in our emotional driven culture here in America, the impact of the shift in thoughts on the intimate levels very quickly is illuminated in our everyday reality.
  

"Perhaps it should be that the future unknown is our greatest mystery that teases us daily to find profound connection to this moment so that the future has a meaning greater than that which we know or can even hope to imagine.  If I'm really honest with that part of me that holds the gnosis my my being, this moment is the future I knew would exist.  And that gives me cause to wonder, of course, about how free is "free will."  There were so many points and decisions that *could* have changed this present reality, but in thinking of those choices and decisions -- save of course the 'blond moment' -- none of my decisions would I or could I have changed."

Having made that last bold statement from a jail cell was easy.  In reality out here where the choices of life are really all mine, second guessing is a game to be entertained.  And, not second guessing from a 'regret' point of view, and in that way my statement stands, but in the way of 'the blonde moment'.  After the "blonde moment" kicked in, what decisions were being made, what thoughts and emotions were behind them and the balance of the two in leading to the decisions that were made.

Not being aware of another person's corruption is the most common thread I found in listening to the stories shared with me in jail.  As a mom, I know sometimes a good "grounding" can be helpful; and, I like to think of my experience as such (even if I agree with Judge Dahl that the State of Nevada wasn't authorized to do what they did to me).  Awareness grows with deeper grounding into the experience of our own existence.

sigh.  time to meditate or something.