Sunday, April 23, 2017

Finding Love

So, complete random life that has transpired leading me through some interesting times, meeting amazing humans and finding people I like, making symbols out of them as they relate to my life story and wow, what kind of planet do we live on anyway?

My life is the life stories of all kinds are written about, the character I play in my moment right now is "The Lovers", as such was the role I happened to choose somehow for occupy. I'm happy for my choice and the road it's taken me on even though it TOTALLY wasn't the road others thought I should be traveling then, they saw it. Whew! Now, I hope they will just really start listening and supporting this impossible dream we're making real today. I wonder, could that really happen or will the world just always be mean and I just can stay anonymous and do nothing. I can always do that. =)

I'm looking for love, that forever or infinite kind of stuff that I think we can have in all kinds of ways. I think, some days, I could love anyone who thinks they could love me, and not too many men or women would dare try that or even want to try that with me, so, idk, I know #myNeWBoYfriend is growing and trying to make it to a new level, yet, rn, I think he's just my friend for right now.

Life is dynamic and some changes shift the world, like my daughter graduating from high school next year. I will no longer need to hold her homestead, and she's in college and on her own! A new freedom for the both of us. And, that's when my search for love goes into high active gear!

First, I think I wanna meet #mycybercrush. Mostly because I think it would be fun. Then, oh, I don't know, planning or just letting it flow, what am I gonna do?

Saturday, November 22, 2014

When We Lose Our Faith

"If I ever lose my faith, remind me to #stfu and just listen 2 u and do exactly as you tell me to do." Nikohl Vandel

Having faith in our world, as one may happen to find it, may be impossible. If you have lost your faith, find someone you trust who knows more than you and, if they still have faith, Nikify them until your own faith returns, if it does.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Blahnde Moments, I Still Have Them

Are they wrong?

One would think, wouldn't they, that after being put in jail I would find a way to curtail the way this world confuses me.  Yet, I find myself, after the jail experience, not less confused, but more so.  Really confused.

So, I did the American thing, I went to get involved in our government -- they say, "Be The Change," and that one can never be a part of the solution if not involved in the problem, right?  So I decided, the problem wasn't me, it was my government that put me in jail.

So, the problem lies there and I should begin to get involved, again.  And, they record everything on video at Los Angeles City Council -- have you watched it lately?  The way they run their meetings are confusing at best, not straight forward at all, and transparency doesn't seem to be a hallmark of that body of government.

So, to follow along with the dialog I shared with them, one should listen to the whole thing, and envision on Tuesday outside the City Hall sanitation trucks and other huge trucks like that circling the building with their horns blaring!!!

I realize that my issue just seems so small in comparison, yet, somehow, I know its important because the Masons and folks like that take things like the Red Rope really, really seriously.  I just wish I remembered what it all meant.  I DO know, what it means in my own head as I voiced to that body of government, I really think that The Red Rope is something that has no place in our government "of the people, by the people and for the people."  So, PLEASE, tell me if I'm just having another blonde moment or whether this is a real issue that I should continue to address with the City Council.

Tuesday 1 July 2014
Wednesday 2 July 2014

Friday, July 5, 2013

the heat can get you

even at night.  there are times when it is just relentless.  days and nights, it doesn't matter, the heat is just always there.  sure, you can cheat it, air conditioning or a swim, but it doesn't remove the fact that it is hot.

and you can use that metaphor how ever you want.

at the end of the day, reality is what it is.

in taking the moments of your day if you did not realize that truth -- its balance of perfection -- was the one most desired in that moment, then I guess tomorrow is something you can hope for ... it will probably come, a sure thing.

but, the truth is, "what are words for, when no one listens anymore?"

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

going with the flow

of a cosmic reality as the gamma rays hit in that palce where it feels like only you could possibly the one with the right(eousness) answer for this moment to be in the perfect moment is the safety net of the blahnde in the room.  the one that just sees that nano that needs a friend.  to identify with a reality is the process of this moment.

to be honest, i have no idea Who "Son of a Preacher Man" belongs to, but whomever it is has until the nhsSolstice2ol3 (location) or this song means to me in this moment.  tantra can be so confusing, but it is the most intriguing of all the disciplines to me.  KeepItSimpleSmartie(=!#findNikiV113)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Any Need 2 Keep This?

So, I am going through "The Box" -- for me, that means the box with all The Trial stuff.  Yucky, mostly, but some of it is enlightening, inspiring, and some of its is straight-up comical.  blAHndes DO have more fun!

Form:  "State of Nevada, Department of Public Safety, Division of Parole and Probation, "PRESENTENCE INVESTIGATION REPORT QUESTIONNAIRE"

Question:  "Briefly describe your childhood and your relationship with your family:"
[2 and 1/3 blank lines to respond].

Answer:  "My childhood was fine, and as I am still my parents' child, my childhood continues to grow and mature."

Question:  "Describe the worst thing that happened to you as a child:"
[2 and 1/2 blank lines for that response].

Answer:  "After graduation from high school, I moved out when my parents decided, for me, where I was to go to college rather than support me and my decision for my higher education."

BTW, my parent's choice:  Oral Roberts  University.  Seriously.  My parents are very strong supporters, just sometimes their priorities in what they support get distracted.  Sigh, yes, they were 700 Club members too (and maybe still are). 

The truth is, given their experience in their childhood, that my parents still breathe on planet earth is inspiring.  And, they are really good people with good intention even if they are too trusting in those who may not be so deserving of it.

Perhaps now, more people can see -- regardless of his intention in the moment to send me to jail for 120 days flat -- what a gift Judge Herndon gave me.  Now, as for his competency level, that is something which needs to be addressed.  Perhaps.  I do like the idea that sometimes the world just takes care of itself like that and I really don't have to "worry about a thing."  Working on the destructive side of change is not always fun, and courtrooms can be fun, but I think I'd rather just paint and play and write and do poetry and drum and use the tuning forks and vibrate and dance and photograph and .... just otherwise do what I do to "unfuck the world"!   =)

So, do I keep the Questionnaire or shred it?  The complex questions in my life.  The form has written on the bottom:  "Original - File                       Copy - Offender" ... since I was the offender, this is a copy and The Original is in The File.  Nice, I get to shred!